Lilith, the Dark Feminine, and sacred rage

Feb 2

A fascinating, exciting thing has been happening across the various feeds of my interwebs. The last few months, I’m seeing names of dark goddesses pop up… a lot. Hecate and Lilith especially. The wisdom and magic of these deities feel so, so potent in the dystopian, can-this-really-be-happening political hellscape the United States has descended into.

Several years ago, Hecate initiated me into my first underworld journey and foray into deity work, and I’m a pretty publicly vocal devotee of Lilith. So I’ve been getting questions, meeting more witchy-curious folks interested in deepening their practice, and having more conversations about these goddesses. And I love these conversations. I love hearing folks’ different experiences, stories, and encounters, which is why this is devoted to our dear Demon Mommy, Lilith.

This is a personal account of Lilith’s aspects that resonate with me most deeply, and how it has brought me magic, healing, and more in touch with my own inner witch flame. My hope is to make deity-work feel more accessible for those curious, and maybe bring a voice to the deep, dark, sacred feminine rage that so many of us are feeling right now. This is, of course, not exhaustive, nor is there a single, agreed-upon version of her story.

Lilith’s origin story

Mother of Demons, the original partner to Adam in the Garden of Eden, astrological archetype of what we keep most deeply repressed and hidden. Goddess of sacred and righteous rage. Wind Spirit. Serpent. Succubus.

Tracing Lilith’s origin story is tricky, thanks to centuries of attempted erasure of goddess traditions. The Lilith whose origin story I’m sharing below shows up in the Judaic religious text the Talmud, and is the basis of much of her mythology today*.

In the Garden of Eden

In this story, once God created the earth, sky, sea, flora and fauna, he set his eyes on the final creation- humankind. Cupping soil in his hands, he blew the breath of life into the first man, Adam, and the first woman, Lilith. Made from the earth they were meant to steward, they were created as complimentary partners for one another.

Adam and Lilith live in the garden, tending to God’s creations. But one day, Adam refused to lay beneath Lilith during sex (I’ve heard a few versions of this. That literally he wouldn’t let her be on top, because it felt emasculating to him; or that she wanted to play a more equal role generally in their relationship in sex and outside of it; either way- the theme is the same). Adam refused, saying that her role was to submit to his authority and his desires.

Lilith refused to accept this. Rather than stay in a reality or a relationship that was repressive, where she was less than, she flew from the Garden of Eden. Lilith, promised a paradise but found it to be a lie, opted instead for liberation.

Because of her refusal to submit, she was cast out of the good graces of God, villainized by poor, emasculated Adam, erased from the origin story, and replaced with someone specifically created for subservience, the ‘helper’ Eve.

It is then told that, as she grieved along the bank of the Red Sea, her tears poured into the water. From those tears were born the first demons. That’s where her Mother of Demons moniker comes from. Lilith then lived in isolation, wandering the earth, befriending its creatures, populating it with her own.

And in her time in isolation, Lilith perhaps, just once, returned to the garden after her banishment. One day, she shifted into the form of a snake so as to not get caught, and slithered back in, wrapping herself around the Tree in the center of the garden. She whispered to Eve a truth that Eve probably felt in her core, but hadn’t yet fully let herself see. There is more to the world than this garden, this is a false paradise.

This is a stark contrast to the Garden of Eden story I was raised with, and that’s known by most. In the Biblical creation story, after God finished everything else, Eve was created to be Adam’s ‘helper’.** In this version, Eve was crafted from Adam’s rib bone. The deeply fundamentalist, evangelical church I spent my adolescence in used the Biblical creation story as one proof point (of many) that women and men were not created equal, and women’s role was to submit to the authority of God but also of man. I was taught that men were literally, biologically born with one less rib bone than women. (uhm, what?)

Lilith’s story absolutely shrieks in the face of the teachings I was raised in.

Lilith chose freedom in isolation, chose sexual liberation, chose her own power, rather than stay in what was familiar and what was the path of least resistance.

This is how Lilith came to be commonly associated with both snakes and apples. And as time went on, and her original story was erased, she became linked to myths and associations with succubi; as Samael’s wife; and other themes of darkness, destruction, and temptation.

Lilith represents everything that the heteropatriarchy fears in women - women’s power, independence, and embracing our own sexuality and pleasure.

I think Lilith resonates with so many of us because she stood up for herself against injustice and oppression. She chose freedom, even though she had no idea what might be lying outside of that garden, and she chose to face isolation, leaving everything she knew, rather than accept subservience.

Lilith is the part of us that seethes at injustice.

Goddess of the Dark Feminine***

Lilith sees the full complexities of women, their emotions, their power, and doesn’t turn away from the less-than-delicate parts. Doesn’t hide her anger. Doesn’t shrink herself into compliance at the expense of her own wellbeing. Doesn’t feel shame about her sexual desires. She howls and shrieks from the banks of the Red Sea, expressing her grief and rage.

The parts of women that society has deemed least appropriate- Lilith embodies them. This is why she’s known as a Goddess of the Dark Feminine, and she can be an amazing teacher for helping uncover and understand these aspects within ourselves, regardless of gender identity.

The dark feminine does not refer to ‘bad’ character traits, it’s not about wrongdoing or evil. Dark is simply a polarity of what’s out in the light, it’s that which is unseen. For centuries, women have been coerced to shrink and ignore their own sexual identities. Women were raised to be docile. We’re supposed to cry, not rage, because anger is quite unbecoming for a proper lady. We live in a culture that’s deeply uncomfortable with feminine anger. So rage, sexuality, and anything else deemed taboo for a ‘good’ woman has been shoved down deep into the crevices of our soul. Not allowed to be expressed. Shamed for its very existence.

So honestly it’s no wonder Lilith is popping up more and more in recent months. In the US, we are watching, before our very eyes, as we descend into a dystopian Handmaid’s Tale hellscape****. No wonder we’re really, really fucking angry.

Anger exists for a reason- it ought to be seen, understood, and honored. Anger is a strong feeling; feelings are energy; energy is power. If we engage with it, anger can be a powerful force for transmutation. (that does not mean you should let it loose on the next unsuspecting man who walks into the room. Alas, my therapist would likely say that is unhelpful. Bless him.)

Lilith’s anger was sacred, and righteous. Her anger gave her the strength to leave the garden. To see the injustice she was facing.To make a choice that honored herself, despite the powerful pressures to just submit.

Black Moon Lilith in Astrology - healing our deepest hidden parts

Black Moon Lilith isn’t a planet or an asteroid, but is a point in space that’s calculated in relation to the moon’s position to earth in your natal chart. I find it to be super potent. When I first look at someone’s birth chart, the very first things I look for are their Mercury, Chiron, and Black Moon Lilith.

Rooted in Lilith’s origin story, Black Moon Lilith points to what and where are our most deeply hidden, shamed traits. Maybe for you it’s anger, or your sexuality, or using your voice to speak up when you disagree, or taking up physical space when out in public. Maybe it’s your relationship with food, or your body, or the way you build relationships. There are a lot of ways that shame can manifest and keep us small, even keep us in really sneaky feelings of self-hatred. I speak on anger because it obviously resonates with me, and there’s a lot written about Lilith and sacred rage.

Working with your Black Moon Lilith means doing some shadow work. As we surface these parts of ourselves, the point is NOT to root them out of our existence, but to help integrate this into your whole self. The concept of shadow work is about honoring our whole selves, which means the uncomfortable, least-likable parts too.

We’ve likely spent a long time pretending that these parts of ourselves just didn’t exist. So working with your Black Moon Lilith placement helps you realize why these parts of you exist in the first place. Where did they come from, what purpose have they served (feelings come from somewhere, for some reason, and it’s worth exploring), and what can they teach you. How can you tap into the sacred aspects of these parts- because nothing is wholly bad, or wholly good. Everything has shades and gradients between.

Until college, I just thought I was generally not an angry person. I was opinionated and passionate, sure. But anger was a feeling I’d say didn’t happen to me often, it was very unfamiliar. Identifying my Black Moon Lilith (Aries, which is akin to a sleeping dragon. We’re fine until we’re provoked, then we let you know it.) helped me understand more deeply the ways suppressing my anger just meant more anxiety, depression, and disassociation.

How this looks for me now- if I feel rage, I know it’s likely because something feels unjust. I feel slighted that something unfair has been done to me or someone I care about. If I kept this anger in the shadow, I’d just ignore it- stuff it down until it builds up and erupts.

But if I recognize it- say to myself, “hello rage. You’re sure making a lot of noise right now. What the fuck do you need, girl, because this is not feeling good.”

That gives me space to consider- how can I channel that very potent energy into action. Can I change that injustice. Can I change my relationship with the situation, or investment in it. Etc. (I swear, talking to myself helps a lot).

If you want to find your Black Moon Lilith placement, you can use this site and their ‘extended chart selection’ feature.

Just like Lilith choosing to leave the garden, facing our deepest hidden selves takes enormous courage. It takes a willingness to sit, alone, with ourselves and only ourselves, and allow these things to come forward. But you can always ask Lilith for help- I’m sure she’d love to stand alongside you and hear your howl.

Wind demon

terra cotta plaque attributed by the British Museum to 1800bc-ish

One final bit of Lilith lore I love is her association as a wind spirit (Sumerian in origin).

I’ve only very recently begun to not completely detest the wind. My entire life, my only feeling about wind was resentment that it messes up my hair. I already don’t love beaches because sand is messy (my Virgo really does not like that) but then it’s also windy - the worst. I’m just trying to enjoy the nice views of the water.

But now, when I think about Lilith after she flies from the garden- I see her land on a rocky, sharp, and craggy cliffside that overlooks dark, tempestuous waters (my own version, not the Red Sea that’s mentioned in her origin story). The cliffs are tall, the air is cold and biting. I see her offer her tears to the sea.

In total isolation and deep in grief, her cries turn to shrieks of rage, then to howls of power. Her power stirs up the air around her so it can’t be ignored. In this way, wind isn’t meant to be compliant, or orderly. Wind doesn’t give a shit that it’s messing up my hair- it’s wild, and it’s here to help me rewild, too.

Thank you for reading, dear witches and weirdos. May Lilith stoke your inner witch flame, and help you find your wild.

Footnotes and extra editorializations

*Some of the earliest traces link her to Mesopotamian goddesses Innana and Ishtar. Innana, a prominent goddess of love, sensuality, fertility and war was worshipped maybe as early as 4,000 BCE. Ishtar, a goddess of sexuality and war, is often shown with wings, or with feathered legs and clawed feet- just like Lilith, associated with a screech owl, is often shown.

**Most English translations use the term partner, but many teachers refer back to an older Hebrew translation which translates to the word for ‘helper’.

***A really important note here on the use of the term feminine. The concept of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine exist firmly outside of cultural gender binary constructs. I use the term feminine to represent what has been spiritually associated as such in my pagan traditions- concepts of receptivity, intuition, creation, cyclical, fluid/ever-changing. While the divine masculine represented polarities of that- action, logic, destruction, linear, rooted. Neither side of these aspects is better or worse than the other. These spectra of feminine to masculine are similarly captured in terms like lunar versus solar; yin versus yang. Use whatever terms and concepts resonate with you.

****As a quick aside- I know, you thought this was supposed to be a blog about witchcraft and tarot. I’ve gone off the rails and into the political. But I deeply believe that my spirituality cannot be separated from the sociopolitical context in which we live. My magic will be radical, ecofeminist, anticapitalist and anti-imperialist or else I’ve gone astray. I am grateful to founding mothers of modern witchcraft, like Starhawk, who teach and embody this.

If you feel like raging with me on Spotify, here’s my own personal feminine rage playlist

goddessesdark femininelilith

Tiffany Chang